It’s good timing, then, that our episode for The Erotic Philosopher podcast, with Cyndi Darnell, just came out. In this episode Alex and I draw on the book we wrote, via zoom, during the pandemic: How to Understand Your Sexuality. We cover how erotic, like other kinds of, pleasure is heavily constrained by both cultural and relational forms of trauma. These include the social norms and messages we receive about sex, and the patterns we develop to relate with others and ourselves (including our bodies and feelings), growing up.

You can listen to the podcast episode here. You can buy How To Understand Your Sexuality here. There’s more on trauma in my free book here.

Alex and I are hoping to spend most of our time together relaxing (Hell Yeah, Self-Care!), but it seems highly probable, knowing us, that we’ll also be starting to plan and scheme for our next book together, How to Understand Your Relationships. This book will explore how we can relate with others (and ourselves), expanding our capacities against a backdrop of so much cultural and personal trauma around relationships. I’ve written a bit about some of these themes in my new zine, Relationship Struggles.

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One in eight women and one in twenty men say they lack enjoyment during sex.
For all the conflicting messages we get around sex, most of us know that on some level we’re supposed to enjoy it. But there are a lot of things that can stand in our way. 

Further resources

• A Practical Guide to Sex.
• Sexuality: A Graphic Guide.
• How to Understand Your Sexuality.
• Make Your Own Sex Manual Zine.

The post The Second Circle with Franki Cookney: Why is it so hard to feel good? appeared first on Rewriting The Rules.

In this episode, Ruby is exploring how their own gender feels to them, speaking to her sibling and partner as well as other gender non-confirming and non-binary people about their experiences. She also hears from Meg-John Barker about what gender even is, the ways that we all go on a journey with gender throughout our lives, and the impacts these conversations are having.

Further resources

• Gender: A Graphic Guide.
• How to Understand Your Gender.
• Free Gender Zine.

The post In Touch with Ruby Rare: Gender Non-conformity appeared first on Rewriting The Rules.

You can listen to the episode here. This is what Lena said about it…

We love a good ‘both and’: both cake and ice cream, both dogs and cats. In this episode, as well as in their multiple graphic guides, MJ explains how rigid binaries harm our bodies, limit our minds and how many benefits life beyond the binary has to offer, not just for genderqueer people but for everyone.

Queer Lit

If you want more on this topic, you can check out my book, with Alex Iantaffi, Life Isn’t Binary here.

And my article about queer writing here.

The post Queer Lit Podcast: Non-Binary Life appeared first on Rewriting The Rules.

It was so good to be back on the rebranded Meg-John and Justin podcast which Justin is now taking forward with some great new formats including sex jams (where he discusses sex in pop music with historian Eleanor Janega), advice episodes, reviews of relevant media, and interviews with various sex and relationship experts.

You can find the epsiode with me and Alex here (free feed) and here (extended Patreon episode). Our chat included why self-care is such a problematic concept and why we named our book for it anyway, what it means to take a trauma-informed perspective and why that’s important, why collective care is so vital under capitalism, and who even is this self that we’re trying to care for.

• If you want to buy the book please consider doing so via an independent bookshop like Hackney Pages.
• You can find previous episodes of the podcast with me and Alex here and here.
• If you want to support our projects check out my Patreon, Justin’s Patreon, and Alex’s Patreon.

The post Hell Yeah Self-Care Podcast appeared first on Rewriting The Rules.

This week, Hannah chats to author Dr Meg-John Barker about consent cultural, and the difficulties of being consensual in our sex lives and relationships when the whole of cultural is non-consensual. MJ discusses the limited definition of what we see as sex, and the importance of solo sex and knowing our bodies and what we want. They also chat about the pressure we put on romantic love, and how we value this above all other kinds of love. Finally, they talk about communicating with your partner, and how there is no one relationship style that is easier or better than others.

If you want to hear more podcasts from me on sex and relationships check out megjohnandjustin.com

The post Consent and intentional relationships appeared first on Rewriting The Rules.

We talk about how to figure out what relationship style works for you, as well as meta-communication, time-management, and dealing with difficult feelings like jealousy.

You can listen to the Sex Spoken Here podcast here.

If you fancy exploring these things more for yourself, check out our Make You Own Relationship User Guide zine over at megjohnandjustin.com.

The post Is non-monogamy for you? appeared first on Rewriting The Rules.

We chatted about the spectrum from monogamies to non-monogamies, non-monogamy as an orientation or identity, and how to figure out what relationship style works best for you.

Check out the podcast here if you’re interested.

The post What is non-monogamy? appeared first on Rewriting The Rules.

You can listen to the podcast here.

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