Traumatic/traumatising relationships for the Traum...

Traumatic/traumatising relationships for the Trauma Super Conference

In advance of our new book, How to Understand Your Relationships (last book in our How to Understand Your… series), Alex Iantaffi and I recently spoke about trauma patterns in relationships with Jaï Bristow for the Trauma Super Conference.

In our conversation, we cover:

  • Why traumatic dynamics arise in relationships,
  • The role of both cultural trauma and developmental trauma in our relational patterns and dynamics,
  • How our responses to traumatic/traumatising relationships can risk furthering the problem and how we might respond differently,
  • How important it is to broaden out our understanding of relationships, to consider traumatic dynamics that show up in all kinds of relationships, not just intimate partnerships, and
  • How plural understandings of selves, and somatic approaches, can be helpful in addressing traumatic/traumatising relationships.


The conference airs on January 29th to February 4th, and our conversation goes out on day 4 as part of the Relational Trauma day. You can sign up for the conference from today, using this link.

Or wait for the book which should be out later this year.

Meanwhile, here’s a zine which introduces some of these ideas around relationship struggles.

Meg-John (MJ) Barker (they/them) is a writer, zine-maker, collaborator, contemplative practitioner, and friend. They are the author of a number of zines and popular books on sex, gender, and relationships, including graphic guides to Queer, Gender, and Sexuality (with Jules Scheele), and How To Understand Your Gender, Sexuality and Relationships (with Alex Iantaffi).